Prompt 14 – Author’s Choice #2
Title: Not Worth the Price
Set: During the episode “The Lazarus Experiment”
Characters: 10th Doctor
AN: The dialogue is from the episode itself, and I am supplying the inner visions once more. Having never seen the actual destruction of Gallifrey, I am making it up from hear say. If anyone can direct to a link or a story where it shows what happened, I’d appreciate it.
“I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end you just get tired – tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you.”
All I can see, for just a moment, are all their faces…Romana, glorious as the President of Gallifrey, something I never could do, but I had been, sort of … Leela, brave Leela, staying behind with that guardsman, standing tall against a culture that would turn her out simply for not being like them … Adric, my math genius, poor, sweet Adric, able to stop, stall the Master for a time … Rose, falling, flying into the Void, saved by a man that, one moment ago, swore that she wasn’t his daughter… all the ones that I failed.
“Tired of watching everything turn to dust.”
The skies burning, liquid fire running across the stratosphere, mocking the red grass hills…the Citadel, breached in a hundred places, Time Lords in their finery running, fighting, atron in the air, almost triggering my own regeneration… metallic voices screech across nerves, uttering that one word, one command, that all of Gallifrey will hear over and over…tears and screams and curses and commands, as I reach through time and space, and for one moment I can’t… but it has to be done… this can’t go on forever and forever…
“If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you’ll end up alone.”
Waking up after the war, feeling the last of the regeneration energy dissipate into the Tardis, and the silence… dear Rassilon, everything was so quiet, still, empty… alone… reaching out into the cosmos, and hearing nothing! Screaming to hear my own voice, but it’s not enough, never enough … He thinks it’s a price worth paying.
I don’t. Not anymore.
We live too long.